My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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