What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
