Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
