even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
