Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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