he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize