planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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