shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
