is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Alive.
So much puke
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
