She is in my trunk
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
