You're completely useless in the revolution.
This girl is more easily done than said...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
