We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
