I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
