I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize