Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
