Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
