yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
