I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize