I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
