my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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