Just fell off a train. Bad.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
