me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
