even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
