$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
