There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
