There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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