It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
