positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize