At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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