:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
