K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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