I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
