I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
