His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
