All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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