id be glad to
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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