Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
