Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
