You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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