I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
