if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dick very happy bro
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
