I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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