i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
