Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
