problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
