Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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