So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
