let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
