How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize