Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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