I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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