Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
