Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
