Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
