He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
false alarm, still single
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