I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
