I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just pee around me
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
