week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize