Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Randomize
