he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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