Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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