If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
