You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
