can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
