I'm gonna have a badass scar
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
